Sipping Down Oblivion…

April 27, 2011

Tonight.
Tonight,
There’s a moon in my heart,
where the sun
used
to be.
No more warm,
golden light,
Just cold, waning
memory.

I remember now, how
a world may end:
sipping down “beautiful”
oblivion.

I feel the cold
I’ve always felt.
The shivers freeze
what once did melt,

and here is all that’s left
of good intentions,
the long fall past the end
of interventions

By a God who wove a net
of grace -escape,
which I wore -wicked- like
a villain’s
long and flowing, tell-tale cape.

What rebellion!
How opposite
of well-deserved Thanks!
To, with His very grace and tender mercy,
Pull such sickeningly brazen, putrid pranks!

Why is it I write poetry,
When my life’s so out of rhyme,
-and everything seems more clear to me,
In the fallen, guilty time?

Resurrender,
Resurrender.
There’s never
not
a right
thing
to do.

A wretched pretender,
a trespass defender.
If ever names were real
reflections
of
the who.

Tumble… dive…
I’m still alive…
-that is, my head still shakes
-my chest still shivers.
Water flowing, without ground,
Makes rainy, silent
waterfalls of rivers.

Don’t ask me what it means;
It’s shame; it’s putrid.
Don’t ask me to explain;
It’s pure disgrace.

My name
-my secret name,
is too rebellious,
To think
to drop this mask,
and show this face.

The real me is both,
it seems,
-though sometimes
it is one-
I KILL The Only Begotten,
God’s beloved Son.

And with this death,
He bought me?!?
What insanity! is this?
Love is SO deep and runs a path
I never would think to guess.

The very Love that ran this course,
to oceans deep and lost,
is found in frigid mountain springs,
having been changed and tossed.

I drink again,
I drink
Him in.
What grace!
How undeserving…
A pitiful convict,
lost and found,
and lost, again,
found serving,

Self…
My forehead wrinkles at the thought,
My mind bends under
the weight of such a Grace.
For such patient, faithful, loving mercy,
I can
-in the world I know-
not find a place.

But there He is, as plain as day,
-to a rebellious son- so constant.

constant
constant
constant
constant
constant
constant
Constant.

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