Oh, to Go!

November 24, 2009

I think I was born to live in Australia… or somewhere on the other side of this

beautiful, slightly squashed sphere of an earth, that God created. =)

It’s 4:00 in the morning right now, and not only do I wish I had someone (besidesGod. =) to talk to, but I’ve always longed for Him to send me away!
 
These last few weeks, that desire has been burning again.
Half, at least, from the flesh, and perhaps half from Him.

I’ve never seen the southern cross,
or walked the streets of Sydney, by the harbour,
Driven along the Southern Coastal Highway,
Or seen the Dingo fence. 
Kangaroos, Uluru, Tasmania, New Zealand.
The Twelve Apostles, reaching from beneath the waves, toward the sunset skies. bits of earth left behind, when once so safely tucked between miles and miles of other earth, now alone, and yet, still reaching, even moreso, in fact. 

I’ve always wanted to surf…
And I’ve heard there’s actually some quite good surfing down under.
(That’s actually on my list of things I hope God lets me do. =)

I love the way those people talk. =) 
Between Ken Hamm, Rebecca Saint James,
Keith Urban, Missy Higgins, and Crocodile Dundee…
Ahh! what grand accents. 

I’m fascinated.
 
Fascinated not only by their voices, but their history… and by their wilderness, and by… by… their distance.

My heart longs to hear God’s voice saying, “Go here, do this.” 
The GO, makes my heart jump with joy at the thought. 
To share the gospel makes my soul jump with joy, as well.
To put them together, would quite possibly put an indelible smile on my face

(Oh, to every day,
Hear God’s will whispered
In my newly wakened ear!
God-who-guides-me, make it so.)

It’s been a rough go, off and on, for me, since highschool ended, and even before, I guess, for God to teach me about Trusting and “Staying” and being, and doing.  Because I sooooo want to “go!”… not necessarily Australia… just to “Go” anywhere would be blessed.

But I’ve tied myself to jobs, and to a house, to church programs, to roommates, to

expectation…

I told God once,
“God, if I do this…
-I trust You,
and if You want me anywhere else,
I trust that You’ll provide a way
-You’ll make it possible/clear
For me to leave, to ‘Go.’.”
I never dreamt how hard it would be to continue in that trust.

I can’t even count the times my flesh has wanted to run away -to escape.  Even as it does this night. Again do I realize how when my feet want to run, my mind and heart already have.

I pray to God to remind me, like only He can,
to Trust Him… to submit, to…. love, humbly, to be content,
to not let my one-day-wandering woulds, overshadow my even-now-servanthood coulds.
 
Perhaps it is that I desire the certainty that I have imagined MUST come along with a journey to Australia.  If only I could have such certainty while remaining here.

So often I second guess.

“Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!”

“Be content with such things as you have, for He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you or forsake you.”

“These mean times can be mean times…”

With that… I will bid you all a wonderfully restful night!

“Brothers!  What we do here in life… echoes in eternity!”

-MAC <>< = )

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4 Responses to “Oh, to Go!”

  1. alittlelove Says:

    dear mac:
    you made it into one of my posts(o:
    have a spiffy day.

    • macamidedieu Says:

      Heyyy! Many thanks, Miss Ria!

      “Spiffy.” I realized a while back that, until a week or two ago, I’d never typed that word… only said it, about a million times…

      I hope you’ve had a grand Thanksgiving!

      -MAC < = )


  2. I was talking to KJ the other day. We are quite familiar with wanting to go forward with life but being kept back. Neither of us intended to still be wondering who we would marry. But it’s occurred to us recently that the young men we know might want just as much as we do to chase what’s next, pursue God’s will for their lives. But maybe they don’t know what God wants either. Maybe so many of us are waiting on God. We should encourage each other in it.

    And *I* think we should inquire of God why He is making so many of us wait.

    To God be all glory,
    Lisa

  3. macamidedieu Says:

    “Inquire of God, why He is making us wait.” =) Wisdom… Thanks, Lisa… encouragement to pray. =)

    -How, though? =) By fasting? By only prayer? Through now-like trust? =)

    “Why?” is one of the easiest things for me to pray, because it’s one of the hardest things for me to live without… and yet, it seems to be one of the questions with the most complicated answers. =)

    I sooo want to know why… I think it would help me to hope… If I could see the end to my temporary tunnel. It seems as if it would make these mean times so much less mean.

    But, I’m afraid, to see the end would render the mean times so much less profitable…

    As the wise, little, green-faced, long-eared Jedi, Yoda once said,

    “All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.”

    I don’t pretend to want to be a Jedi… I think it’s a crude metaphor… but God has used the various presentations of truth provided in those movies to remind me of many things:

    “…Well done, you good and faithful servant, you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many…” Matt 25

    “Do not worry about tomorrow… sufficient for the day are its own troubles.” Matt 5


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